Aloha, good friends! Howze this for an appropriate beginner? I like political jokes, unless they get elected! Let’s get down to business. What is really important? Climate change, undernourished and undereducated children, domestic violence and equal rights. So now let’s
Aloha, good friends! Howze this for an appropriate beginner? I like political jokes, unless they get elected! Let’s get down to business. What is really important? Climate change, undernourished and undereducated children, domestic violence and equal rights. So now let’s put all the politics in the trash can where they belong. Yep, and add a few politicians just for flavor! LOLs … LOLs.
A woman with a minor injury was at the hospital because her doctor said he wanted to take a closer look to make sure everything was all right. The woman’s husband sits patiently in the waiting room. After a short time, the doctor comes out and asks his assistant for a wrench, which of course concerns the husband. Then, after a couple more moments, the doctor re-enters the room, this time asking for a screwdriver. The husband again is worried and starts to pace in circles. A few minutes later the doctor burst through the door screaming for a hammer! At that, the husband, in a state of frenzied fear, runs up and asks, “Doctor, what the heck is wrong with my wife?” “I don’t know,” replies the flustered doctor, “I can’t get my bag open!”
I asked a friend of mine by phone what he was doing. He told me he couldn’t talk because he was working on “aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel while under a dangerously constrained environment.” I was impressed! Well, until the following day when I learned that meant he was “washing dishes with hot water under his upset wife’s supervision!”
An elderly man in Florida owned a large farm. He had a pond in the backyard, properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up with nice picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some apple and peach trees. One evening, the old farmer went down to the pond just to check it out, as he had not been there for awhile. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing. As he came closer, he saw that it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, “We’re not coming out until you leave!” The old man frowned and said, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked!” Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator …” (Yep, some old men can still think fast!)
What is the definition of fable? A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew!
The HMO account manager noticed that nearly every bill from a certain pediatrician’s office included the line item “Behavior modification re-enforcers.” Alarmed the the doctor was engaging in some unapproved, experimental psychological treatment, he called the doctor’s office to inquire. “What on earth are behavior modification re-enforcers?” he asked. “Lollipops,” the pediatrician responded with a chuckle! A couple more?
A woman was waiting in the checkout line at a shopping center, her arms laden with a mop, a broom and other cleaning supplies. By her hard glances and deep sighs she obviously was in a hurry and not happy about the slowness of the line. When the cashier called for a price check on a box of soap, the woman remarked indignantly, “Well, I’ll be lucky to get out of here before Christmas!” “Don’t worry, ma’am,” replied the clerk, “With a good tailwind and that brand new broom you have there, you’ll be home in no time!”
So let’s end where we began … A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with “Once upon a time.” “No,” he replied. “A whole lot of them begin with ‘If elected, I promise …’”
That’s it, my friends. Aloha … a hui hou.
