With the political conventions in process, I have no lack of humor material! Latest spelling is tRump, and the following best quote of the convention: “We started out with nothing and we still have most of it!” Can you believe
With the political conventions in process, I have no lack of humor material! Latest spelling is tRump, and the following best quote of the convention: “We started out with nothing and we still have most of it!” Can you believe Trump’s pick for VP is the “poster child” against women’s reproductive rights? Pay attention, ladies! Oh yes. The Republican platform cites porn as a public health crisis but ignores guns! Just one more … Word is out that Melania Trump did plagiarize Michelle Obama’s speech. LOL?
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced. “Ladies, exercise is good for you! Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!” The room got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. “Yes?” replied the teacher. “Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?” Nope … no fight!
A CNN female journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray twice a day, every day for a long, long time. So, she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there was the man, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and when he left, using a cane, she approached him. “Pardon me, sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN. What’s your name? “Morris Feinberg,” he replied. “Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?” “For about 60 years!” he replied. “That’s amazing! What do you pray for?” she asked. “I pray for peace between all people. I pray for all the wars and personal hatred to stop! I pray for our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man. I pray that politicians tell us the truth and put the interest of the people ahead of their own interest!” he said. “So, how do you feel after doing this for 60 years?” she asked. He responded, “Like I’m talking to a wall!
Another cute “dating ad” for seniors in an Orlando newspaper: “Serenity Now:” I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times!
Another geriatric? Two older women were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. “I do wish my Leroy would stop biting his nails. That makes me terribly nervous!” the first one said. “Oh, my Elmer used to do the same thing,” the other woman said. “But I broke him of that habit real quick!” “What did you do?” “Simple. I hid his teeth!”
And one from our favorite animals … A duck, a buck and a skunk were having a drink at a bar when the owner asked for their money. “I’m not paying,” said the duck. “I’ve only got one bill and I’m not breaking it!” “I’ve spent my last buck!” said the deer. “Then the duck will have to pay,” said the skunk. “Getting here cost me my last scent!”
I’ll close with some signs posted around a West Texas city: “I want to grow my own food, but I can’t find bacon seeds” … “I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1964, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen!” … “I just spent 15 minutes searching for my phone in my car! Using my phone as a flashlight!” OK, one more favorite: People my age are so much older than me!
Be well … Do kind deeds … Don’t litter … Be happy … Don’t worry! Aloha … a hui hou.
