Not so long ago, in a galaxy not far away…
Darth Trumpo, dark leader of the First Disorder, has unleashed his stormtroopers on the peaceful planet of Americania.
Believing himself to be the rightful ruler of Americania, Trumpo is determined to disrupt the smooth transition of power of the true leader, General Biden. The dark lord has sent his crazed, skinhead stormtroopers to invade the Capitol!
Cheered on by Darth Trumpo, they are breaching the walls, smashing doors and windows, falsely believing General Biden stole the presidency.
Inside the capitol the transition goes smoothly and General Biden is elected president of the planet. All is well for the moment.
Darth Trumpo orders his skinhead troopers to “Stand down for now.” They all scurry back to the hills, getting ready for the next attack on peaceful Americania.
Trumpo continues insisting that he, and not General Biden, is the true president of Americania. His bleary-eyed followers bow to him and jump at his every whim.
They await Lord Trumpo’s command to descend upon General Biden, wearing their red hats with the white letters, MAGA, Make Americania Grundgy Again.
Meanwhile back at the capitol, General Biden and his vice president, Princess Kamala are turning the planet into paradise. Biden is following through on the promises he made to the people of Americania.
Each citizen gets a chicken in every pot, and pot in every chicken. Besides that they will get life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, and free WiFi.
Secretly orbiting above the planet in his gas-guzzling space module is Trumpo, preparing to make a second run at taking over Americania.
On his super smart phone he calls on his stormtroopers to put on their MAGA hats, pry their guns from their cold, dead fingers, and invade Amercania.
A resounding “Heil Trumpo!” echoes through the hills of Idaho and thousands of stormtroopers pour out of their Ted Kaczynski cabins, hellbent on hanging General Biden, and taking over the planet.
Whether by fate or something slipped into his Metamucil, General Biden is too weak to get out of bed. He can no longer lead his faithful, ragtag freedom fighters.
Trumpo’s army of miscreants is approaching the capitol. There is nothing to stop his evil takeover. All seems lost.
But what’s this?! It’s Princess Kamala standing bravely, ready to defend Americania from the forces of darkness. Beside her is Colonel Whitewalls, and behind them are the ragtag freedom fighters.
Suddenly Darth Trumpo gives the order and his dark hordes charge the Capitol! Princess Kamala raises high her light saber leading the freedom fighters, rushing toward the army of darkness. In a matter of moments they will clash!
This battle will decide the fate of Americania. Will darkness or light prevail?
Fellow citizens, It’s all up to you.
Dennis Gregory writes a bi-monthly column for West Hawaii Today and welcomes your comments at makewavess@yahoo.com
