Canada our 51st state?
President Trump with his “Twilight Zone” brain, fueled by too many bloody Marys at the golf course, wants Canada to be a state.
He also wants to grab Greenland, an idea so off the wall that if a drunk on a barstool said that, you’d move five barstools away. Forget it: Denmark owns Greenland and is in NATO. Not even Trump would attack our allies, I hope.
Having such a condescending attitude and wanting to turn a noble country like Canada into a state is pretty tacky. Maybe Canada should make us a state.
So, what would Canadian statehood be like? Let’s take a look.
America has a budget in the trillions, giving billions to states for everything from food stamps to roads to schools, disasters, and bathrooms in city parks.
Canada has a relatively small population. There are only 37 million people there, little more than the population of California. Canadians are scattered across the second-largest country in the world, next to Russia.
But they say Canadians are nice. They’re right. Some friends and I went to Canada once.
We walked into a department store, and my woman friend wanted to buy a dress. She handed the saleslady a $100 bill. The lady said it was early and she didn’t have change and handed my friend two $100 bills and asked her to walk down to the bank and get change. She trusted a total stranger with 200 bucks.
That doesn’t happen here.
The political scene would be tricky. There would be two new senators from our new state, but with 37 million people, who knows how many more Representatives there would be, or how many more electoral votes. But the whole state would probably be Democrat — 37 million of them.
When we open the border, will starving Canadians charge down and take jobs from American citizens? No, they will be American citizens working in their own country.
Everything’s cool there. Canada is plenty rich, they have a mixed economy, combining private and public funding. Citizens are doing fine financially overall. Downgrading their country into a state would be rather degrading.
The physical shape of America would change. Our country would look like it had a giant boxcar on our back. All maps in the world would have to be redone.
The American flag would look different, Money would be a problem; Canadian dollars are a called loonies because there is a loon on the bill, or is it a bill on the loon?
They’d have two kings, King Charles of England and King Donald of America. England gets money from Canada. What would they think losing all that loot?
My friend, Mike, who is a Canadian, wished his country was a state because he could have voted against Trump in the last election. Hey, Mike, you might get your chance.
Best of all the whole country is nice. We could sure use that.
Dennis Gregory writes a bi-monthly column for West Hawaii Today and welcomes your comments at makewavess@yahoo.com.
