President Trump
welcomes immigrants
In a total about face, the president decided to welcome all Latino immigrants and let them freely cross the border and be U.S. citizens. Trump signed massive funding for projects that will put millions of former illegal aliens to work. One of the projects is pulling down the border wall.
Ukrainian war ends
For reasons unknown, Russian president Putin decided to pull out his troops and head back to Russia. His comment was, “They were just too tough to fight, let them have their country, we’ll just invade somebody else.”
TMT gives up, Hawaiians rejoice
After almost 12 years of wrangling with Hawaiian opposition to the Thirty Meter Telescope, the scientists are giving up and leaving. Herman Snerdbuckett, TMT director said, “We just couldn’t win against those stubborn Hawaiians, we’re leaving. They can have their mountain.”
4 day work week passes, millions very happy
The 5 day work week has been shortened to 4 days. It will be a strenuous 6 hour day, with 3 two-hour breaks every day.
Big news! Hawaii County worker answers phone
On Friday, December 20, a county worker actually answered the phone and gave correct information. All other residents got the answering machine with no call back.The rest of the citizens who called with a question were told to call another office for the answer, who sent them back to the original office.
Just in! Hot off the press! Read all about it!
Trump and Vance
paralyzed, Dems take over
In a bizarre incident at a Japanese state dinner in Washington, D.C., the president and vice president were accidentally served tainted fugu fish. The bad fish is usually lethal but the president and VP are doing fine, they’re just stiff as a board and cannot speak.
They will be taken to Mar-A-Lago to recover and thaw out. The symptoms could last years, so according to the order of presidency, Senate leader, Chuck Schumer, a Democrat, will take over as president for the whole term. He will reverse most of Trump’s actions and will immediately fire Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Roe vs. Wade law of the land again
It just so happened that the 6 conservative Supreme Court justices attended the same Japanese state dinner and ate the bad fugu fish. They went into a temporary coma just long enough for the 3 liberal justices to vote Roe vs. Wade back in.
The conservatives came out of the coma and were really mad about it.
Dennis Gregory writes a bi-monthly column for West Hawaii Today and welcomes your comments at makewavess@yahoo.com
