‘We focus on the family’

Sign-wavers lined a portion of Kilauea Avenue in midtown Hilo on Tuesday to help raise awareness about domestic violence in the community — and share messages of hope and strength — with passing motorists on the busy thoroughfare.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and the sign-waving event was hosted by Child &Family Service, a nonprofit organization providing services to families.

Some sign-wavers wore purple ribbons, and thousands of purple ribbons lined a nearby fence facing Kilauea Avenue to signify all the East Hawaii DV survivors and their families that CFS served in the past fiscal year.

That number has increased annually, as CFS Hilo served 2,412 people with its domestic violence programs in fiscal year 2024. That compares to 2,343 people in fiscal year 2023 and 2,123 in fiscal year 2022.

“It’s very concerning, because when you look at national data, you’ll see that one in three women and one in four men are survivors of DV,” said Christine Fliniau, CFS director of East Hawaii programs. “In Hawaii, we show a little bit higher than the national data.”

Statewide numbers provided by CFS indicate 50% of women in Hawaii are victimized by an intimate partner at some point during their lives.

“We want to show how domestic violence affects the whole family and the importance of everyone in the family getting help and getting treatment,” Fliniau said.

She added that her agency and others in the community provide services to both the survivors of DV who have been victimized, as well as the perpetrators of the violence.

“We focus on the whole family, because DV is such a complex issue,” Fliniau explained. “And oftentimes, we see a generational trauma with succeeding generations going on to perpetuate it. And so, to break the cycle of domestic violence, you have to do more than just address the victim. You have to work with the people who are perpetrating the abuse, without judgment — because if they don’t receive help, they’re likely to leave that relationship, go on to another relationship, and repeat the same cycle of abuse.

“A lot of times, victims don’t realize they’re in a DV relationship, because they don’t recognize the forms of DV,” she continued. “For instance, it’s not only physical abuse. It’s financial abuse, it’s emotional abuse, it’s threats of harm, it’s isolating them — whether it’s from money, resources or even their children.

“So, there are a lot of different ways that DV is perpetrated.”

And while Fliniau thinks DV numbers in general are under-reported because of victims who haven’t sought help or entered the system by other means, she’s concerned that male survivors who need help are reluctant to do so.

“There’s a stigma. And sometimes, it’s because of responses they’ve received when they’ve reached out for help,” she said. “One of the priorities for me and for CFS is reducing that stigma for getting help because of how prevalent the problem is — letting them see that if they’re a survivor, they’re not alone. Or if someone is perpetrating abuse, they’re not alone. A lot of times, for the male victims, they think that ‘nobody is going to believe me, because she’s a woman and I’m a man.’

“And it’s unfortunate, because we’re trying to provide the data to show that this really does happen. With DV, it cuts across all socioeconomic status and all ethnicities.”

According to Fliniau, the community approach is vital when it comes to addressing the needs of those affected by DV.

“It takes more than one person or one organization,” she said. “And so, even though we are probably the largest provider in Hawaii County of DV services, we definitely don’t do it alone. We are part of a multidisciplinary team.”

She said the Hawaii Police Department, the Office of the Prosecuting Attorney, the Children’s Justice Center, YWCA and the state departments of Heath and Human Services are part of that team.

“We work together (to) improve the response for victims who have to go through the system, and how we can have a seamless, coordinated response among different entities in the community.”

Pervasive community problems are oftentimes magnified among DV survivors. Only about 30% of East Hawaii survivors, often with their children, are able to find affordable permanent housing after leaving CFS’s DV shelter.

“We have an affordable housing crisis in Hawaii, and safe housing is a huge issue that we deal with here,” Fliniau said. “There’s quite an intersection between DV and homelessness — and the incidence of homelessness in people who experience domestic violence is far greater than in the general population.

“People can stay in our shelter for 120 days. And when people come into our shelter, we really work with them to help them get all the documents they need to get housing, to get income — some through state programs and some are able to get jobs. But it’s not an easy process to complete within 120 days. And to be able to rebuild your life after domestic violence, that’s not a whole lot of time.

“So, one initiative we’re working on, and it’s been made possible by the County of Hawaii Homeless and Housing Fund, is our kauhale projects. Right now, we have plans to build 16 kauhales. Some will be for families, some will be for people with disabilities and some will be for single adults. Each kauhale will have its own bathroom. And within those kauhales will be communal areas, such as a communal kitchen and a communal place to hang out and spend time.

“We’re in the beginning stages of that project, and we’re really excited.”

In addition to the shelters — which are open 24 hours a day for those seeking a safe space — CFS also has 24/7 domestic violence hot lines on both sides of Hawaii Island. Call (808) 959-8864 in East Hawaii or (808) 322-7233 in West Hawaii.

Email John Burnett at jburnett@hawaiitribune-herald.com.