For survivors of domestic violence, sometimes support is the best course to healing.
On Friday afternoon in Hilo, advocates held a sign-waving event along Highway 11 to raise awareness about the prevalence of domestic violence on the island and to amplify the voices of those who have, or are currently, suffering through it.
Alexus Fernandez stood at the front of at least 75 people, holding a sign in honor of her sister, 42-year old Elizabeth Fernandez, who was killed by an ex-boyfriend on New Year’s Day in Kealakekua.
“I fight for my sister, because she was failed by the system. She made two (temporary restraining orders) … and she was failed,” Alexus Fernandez said. “My family is suffering immensely by her passing. It affects me every single day.”
According to court records, after being physically abused on Dec. 23 by her ex-boyfriend, Garret Kaleohano, Elizabeth Fernandez filed for a TRO, and police issued a 48-hour TRO against him.
After it expired, Kaleohano allegedly threatened Elizabeth Fernandez while standing in her driveway on Dec. 29. She filed for a TRO the same day and told authorities he had a hunting rifle.
According to court records, police did not receive a copy from the court before the apparent murder-suicide two days later.
“She did everything right, and it still didn’t work. This could have been prevented,” Alexus Fernandez said.
Fernandez decided to turn her focus to the community by showing support for all victims and survivors of domestic violence.
“I asked for help to get this together for my sister and for everyone, for all of the unheard voices out there,” Fernandez said. “I think seeing everyone out here supporting, it can spark something, not only for this generation, but for the next.”
Fernandez is hoping that with more voices, there’s a chance polices and laws can be improved to better protect people like her sister, and prevent any form of abuse from escalating into violence.
Individuals from the community, many being survivors of domestic violence, showed their support Friday for Fernandez and held signs reading “love doesn’t hurt” and “violence is never the answer,” as well as pictures of loved ones that were lost due to domestic violence.
Community activist and survivor Michelle Kobayashi helped organize the event with the goal of reaching people who are currently being abused by a partner.
“When you’re going through it, you isolate yourself. That happened to me, and it led me to drugs and suicide. I had to pull myself out of that rut,” Kobayashi said. “I think that knowing there are agencies, organizations and people out there who care can make a huge difference.”
Community organizations Going Home Hawaii, He Ho‘omaka Hou Ana O‘ Puna, Recovery of Hawaii and Hope Services Hawaii attended the sign-waving and reiterated their dedication to helping victims and survivors of domestic violence.
Renee Rivera, co-director of He Ho‘omaka Hou Ana O‘ Puna, has created a support network through the nonprofit, which works to improve the lives of women through therapy, licensed counseling and mentoring.
“It’s so rewarding to see so many passionate people out here supporting survivors, family members of survivors, everyone who has been affected by domestic violence,” Rivera said. “Our goal at our organization is to be a support group where we lead the healing process while connecting these women together, so they can build relationships outside the group and heal when they are ready.”
At least 24 women from across East Hawaii have joined together via the nonprofit to share their stories and find their own path to healing.
“There is no hierarchy with our group. We are helping each other, planting the seed of healing and watching everyone blossom and grow,” Rivera said. “If 24 people can lead at least one other person out of a violent situation — I mean, that’s our mission. Small kine things make a big impact.”
Any woman currently seeking help for their physical, mental and emotional well-being is welcomed to reach out to the team at He Ho‘omaka Hou Ana O‘ Puna at hehoomakahouanaopuna.org.
The Child and Family Services 24-Hour Abuse Hotline has advocates available seven days a week to provide support. They can be reached at (808) 959-8864 in East Hawaii and at (808) 322-7233 in West Hawaii.
Email Kelsey Walling at kwalling@hawaiitribune-herald.com.
