Just received my tax information from my taxman….and you expect me to be funny??? Yep…I will just becauseit is in my blood. Two kids are looking at a book on the floor. One says to the other, “My Mom says it’s called a book, but I’m not sure where the batteries go!” Same two friends are sitting at the dining table looking at a book with Mom standing over them. She chuckles and says: “Just open it…you don’t need a password!”
?? one more?? Another of the kids is holding a book up to the mother and says: ”No joystick??No mouse?? No keyboard?? How do you turn the pages ??”
My lawyer friend is responsible for this one…no, I won’t reveal her name! A man finds himself in need of a good lawyer. He finds one on line and goes to his office. After being taken inside, he sits down across from the lawyer. He really needs legal advise, but wants to be sure he can afford it. “Can you tell me how much you charge?” he asks. “Of course”, the lawyer replies. “I charge $1800 to answer 3 questions.” The man was alarmed. “Don’t you think that’s an awful lot of money to answer 3 questions?”, he inquires. “Yes it is,” answers the lawyer, “And, what’s your third question?” Now from the mouths of babes….
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part where Chicken Little warms the farmer. She read: ‘and Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said: “The sky is falling!” The teacher then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?” One little girl raised her hand and said: I think he said: “Holy sh—!! A talking chicken!” The teacher was unable to talk for the next 10 minutes!
Wife texts husband on a cold winter morning: “Windows frozen, won’t open.” Husband texts back: “Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap the edges with hammer.” Wife texts back 10 minutes later: “Computer really messed up now!” Time for some ’shorties’??
**Remember wishing the weekend would last forever? Happy now???
**Everyone please be careful tonight, there is a DUI checkpoint on the corner of hallway and kitchen…Be Safe!
**Man filling out a application for employment. Responses: Prior Job Title: Burglar! Reason for layoff: People home!!
**I went line dancing last night. Well, it was a roadside sobriety test…same thing!
**A police officer came to my house and asked me where I was between 5&6. He seemed somewhat irritated when I answered : “Kindergarten!!” Getting close to the end my friends….
My neighbor was telling me that his doctor told him that he is old enough that to be safe, he should install a bar in the shower. So, in one corner is his Chardonay and in the other is his Zinfandel.
Now to finish with a clever one liner: Ban pre-shredded cheese! MAKE AMERICA GRATE AGAIN! Thats it for this week my faithful readers. Be safe…WEAR YOUR MASK….Aloha…a hui hou
