OK, let’s get started with the LOLs — ready, set, go!
• I question how advanced is my working knowledge as I watch my friend’s 4-year-old pull up apps on the Mom’s cellphone. Me, I just figured out how to turn mine off without taking out the batteries!
• Progress? People are so excited about the new iPhone, but no one has caught up with the awesome technology of using your blinkers when you drive! OUCH! Please, drive safely!
• My friend’s young son told him that he wanted to train his dog. So, his Dad told him there were lots of dog training videos on YouTube. That afternoon the Dad finds his son holding his Phone in front of the dog — showing the dog the YouTube videos. Ah yes, our tech world.
• A cute dog is sitting in front of a computer and says to the owner of the computer: “If you don’t want me to shop online, you really shouldn’t use my name for all your passwords!”
• A Hawaii politician visited a small village on Kauai and was asking people around the village stores what their needs were. “We have two basic needs, honorable sir,” replied the village leader. “Firstly, we have a hospital but no doctor.”
On hearing this, the politician brought out his cellphone. After speaking on it for awhile he tells them not to worry that a doctor will be there tomorrow. Then he asked the leader for the second problem.
“Secondly, sir, there is no cellphone reception anywhere in our village.”
• Two older men from a senior citizens center were sipping their afternoon wine on the porch when one said to the other: “Ralph, I’m 92 years old and even my aches have pains! You must be close to my age. How are you feeling?”
Ralph says: “Like a brand new baby!”
The friend replies: “No kidding? Like a brand new baby?”
“Yep,” Ralph says. “No teeth, no hair, and wet diapers!! (Yes, I know, painful but funny!)
Some one-liners?
• Why did the inches obey the yardstick? He was their ruler!
• What kind of boats do vampires like? Blood vessels!
• A Chinese jewelry company has made a solid gold toilet with more than 40,000 diamonds in its seat. Cost? About $1.3 million. How many orders?
Now for some names of US towns that will have you LOL-ing super:
• Two-egg, Florida
• Humptulips, Washington
• Hell, Michigan
• Boogertown, North Carolina.
And the grande finale — believe it!
• Intercourse, Pennsylvania.
Other important information…
Four beaches that are clothing-optional….no joke!
• Baker, Beach, San Francisco
• Moshup Beach, Martha’s Vineyard
• Gunnison Beach, New Jersey
• Kehena Beach, Big Island, HI.
Getting near closure time… An angel in heaven is meeting new arrivals. She says to them: “Actually, you all had a pretty great life, but you were looking down at your phone and you missed it!” Will close with that Ouwee!
Be well, do good deeds and SMILE and LAUGH! Aloha, a hui hou.
