Hopefully all the leftovers have been consumed, you’re all on a diet awaiting the Christmas mince pie and plum pudding and you are trying to decide what kind of diet soda you will buy! Have fun! Now for some LOLs …
General Motors, looking for some smart changes, hires a new CEO. The new boss is determined to first rid the company of all slackers. On his second day he is touring and notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants them to know that he means business! So he walks up to the guy leaning against the wall and asks, “How much do you make a week?” A little surprised, the young man says, “I make $400 a week, why?” The CEO then hands the guy $1,600 in cash and yells at him, “Here’s four weeks’ pay, now get out and don’t come back!” Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looks around the room and asks, ”Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?” From across the room came a voice, “That was the pizza delivery guy from Domino’s!”
Now for some shorter LOLs, but all very funny! Signs in stores … In a paint store: Husbands must have a note from their wives before selecting any colors! … On the door of a bank: Push it. Push it real good! … On a hardware store door: Push. If that doesn’t work, pull. If that doesn’t work, we must be closed! … Sign at a desk where a woman is working: Due to the shortage of robots, some of our workers are human and may react unpredictably when abused! … Over a liquor store: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength. In water there is bacteria! You choose! …
And my all-time favorite, a sign in a pet store: The world’s best antidepressant has legs, a wagging tail and comes with unconditional love!
A newly ordained priest, nervous about hearing confessions, finally asks an older priest to observe him and give feedback. After listening, the older priest suggests that he fold his arms, and comment, “I see” or “Yes my child, go on.” The young priest puts these suggestions to practice and later tells the older priest how much it helped! “You’ve done well,” says the older priest. “Now, isn’t that better than slapping your knee and yelling, ”No way! Now tell me what happened next!”
One day a college professor of psychology was greeting a new class. He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid, please stand up?” After a minute or so of silence, a young male student stood up. “Well, good morning! So you actually think you’re a moron?” The kid replied, “No sir! I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself!”
Yep, look for those who need your love and support and give it with laughter! Well, at least a few smiles. Be happy. Don’t Worry. A hui hou.
