Aloha, and take a deep breath. Now exhale very slowly … feeling better? Time to LOL and I promise there will be no Trumpted-up jokes. I know, I could fill my entire column with that stuff!
A cook left a note for his wife when he left to play golf with his buddies. “Sorry honey, today I will be as useless as the ‘g’ in lasagna!”
A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, “No, I’m traveling light!”
At the local bar, a man sits next to an attractive woman. He then says to her, “Outside? Under? To? Around?” The woman interrupts him and responds, “Are you trying to preposition me?” OK, they get better!
A young girl is on the couch with her grandpa and studying the wrinkles on his old face. Finally she touches them, then touches her own face, looks very puzzled and says, “Grandpa, did God make you?” “He sure did honey, a very long time ago” replies the grandpa. “Well, did God make me?” asks the young girl. “Yes, He did, and that wasn’t too long ago,” answers the grandpa. “Boy,” says the little girl, “He’s sure doing a lot better job these days, isn’t he?!”
Boss to a potential employee: “Wages are $12 an hour. After six months, that goes up to $18. When can you start?” Man replies, ”In six months!”
Joe and Moe are talking (you know them well!). Joe says, “Somebody’s been adding layers of dirt to my garden!” Moe responds, “So … the plot thickens!”
One more? Question: What’s the saddest dog? Answer: The melancollie!
One Sunday, when counting the offerings, the pastor of a small church finds a pink envelope with $1,000 in it! It happens again the following week. As he watches the next week, he sees an elderly woman put the pink envelope on the plate. Out of curiosity, after church, the pastor asks her about her weekly gift. She replies, “Yes, my son sends me money every week and I share with my church. The pastor then asks, “How much does he send you?” She answers,”$10,000 weekly!” The pastor then says, ”Your son is very successful. What does he do for a living?” “He’s a veterinarian,” she replies. “That’s an honorable profession! Where does he practice?” She proudly answers, “In Nevada! He has two cathouses, one in Reno, one in Vegas!”
Yep, aloha gang … best I close before I really have fun! Be well, be happy, a hui hou.