Just so you will continue to read my column, I promise no amusing or funny “political jokes.” (Wait, isn’t that an oxymoron?)
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog!
One from my favorite profession: Doctors should be required to have the logos of their drug companies posted all over their white coats, just like NASCAR drivers!
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Well, for bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment! Healthy?
Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon! But, come on folks. I drive way too fast to worry about my cholesterol! Howze about you?
One more medical? Never accept a drink from a urologist! Yep, we doctors are naughty!
As long as there is algebra, there will be prayer in school! And, my school was so very difficult. The school newspaper had an obituary column.
For those of you (us!) aging daily: Old age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier!
Statistics show that at the age of 70, there are five women to every man! Now, I find that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds! More?
Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you!
Last one for us “seniors” … You’re getting old when “getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot!
Same-sex heart transplants have better odds of success than mixed transplants. Go figure! And look how long it took society to let us get married! Duh! (I did recently read in a “movie magazine” that celebrities now define themselves as “pansexual!” What will be next?
Getting near closing time, so if you need lots more LOLs, yep, look in the mirror!
And to leave you with something very positive … Three bones: Your wishbone to dream big! Your jawbone to speak your truth! And your backbone to persevere through it all
Aloha, a hui hou.
