Today’s is a shorty, so just read its twice over! You see, I’ve reached that point in my life where my train of thought usually leaves the station without me! So, give me chocolate and no body gets hurt!
Speaking of food, a man says to a butcher, “Anybody who sells meat is gross!” The sharp butcher man replies, “Oh yeah? Well, anybody who sells fruits and vegetables is grocer!”
Question: Why do people hate elevator music? Answer: At first it’s uplifting. But in the end, it always brings you down!
A friend sent me an amusing email that I will share with you. It’s is something we all can use. Life’s Rules: If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the “terminal?” … A sign in a Chinese pet store: “Buy one dog, get one flea!” … I don’t do drugs because I can get the same effect by standing up fast! … and da grand finale: I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected!
Poodle: “My life is a mess! My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German Shepherd and I’m as nervous a cat!” Collie: “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” Poodle: “I can’t! I’m not allowed on the couch!”
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife go for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever had. On and on she went … neglect, lack of intimacy, loneliness, feeling unloved, etc. — a long laundry list of unmet needs she had endured. Finally after listening for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up and walked around his desk. Standing next to the wife he then embraced and kissed her long and passionately as her husband watched. The woman sat down, quietly and in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?” “Well,” said the husband, “I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Friday I play golf!”
Time to close with a few important questions: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Dam! … What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick! … What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese. … What do you call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses. … What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
Have a wonderful week, do good deeds and help our neighbors who are dealing with Madame Pele!
Aloha, a hui hou.
