Many of my friends, yep of the older generation, cannot comprehend why Facebook exists. So, I tried to teach them the same principles. I took them out for a walk on the street and we told passersby what we had eaten, how we felt in the moment, what we had done the night before and what we will do later and with whom. We gave these strangers pictures of our family, our dogs and different activities around our homes. We also listened to the strangers’ conversations, gave them “thumbs up” and told them we like them. And it worked just like Facebook! We each had four people following us: two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist!
I so admired Winston Churchill, one of the greatest statesmen, and he had a sense of humor! A few quotes from him: “Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to h—- in such a way that they ask for directions!” … “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt: long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest!” … “In the course of my life, I often have had to eat my words, and I must confess that I’ve always found it a wholesome diet.” … A truly great statesman!
Yep, more laughter now … Tom: “If your girlfriend and your best friend were drowning, who would you save?” Harry: “I don’t know, that’s a tough one.” Tom: “Why is that?” Harry: “Well, what were they doing together in the first place?”
A husband reluctantly went shopping with his wife so she could buy new dress. She tried on several but they didn’t fit. She came out of the fitting room totally frustrated in tears and remarked, “Nothing my size fits me anymore!” (Yep…that’s an ouch!)
Some health stuff for y’all … Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon! … What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu? For bird flu you need tweetment and for swine flu you need oinkment! (Yep, kinda pathetic) … A new medical study shows that you can drastically reduce your cholesterol by eating somewhere other than America … and from my home state: Only a rank degenerate would drive 1,500 miles across Texas without eating chicken fried steak!
Not to forget that important day coming … Last year on Mother’s Day we were celebrating with a large family. After the big dinner a mom started to clean up. One of the children sweetly said, “Don’t bother with those dishes, Mom. Today is Mother’s Day! You can always do them tomorrow.”
One year I told my sons that on Mother’s Day I wanted to be pampered! So they bought me some diapers … Couple more? I once asked my mom if I was adopted. She said, “Not yet, but we placed an ad!” … A very clever boy wrote his mom the following: “Dear Mom, I was going to give you an all-expenses-paid, first class trip to Hawaii for Mother’s Day. But I knew how much you’d miss me, and I couldn’t put you through that kind of agony!”
That’s it for today my friends. Have a great week! Aloha, a hui hou.