Aloha my friends. Yep, it’s still 2018! (Admit it, you wrote 2017 at least twice yesterday!) LOL, LOL … so let’s get started!
At the Waimea market, Kimo met a retired rancher, Mac, from Honokaa and they were talking about their farms and ranches. Kimo said, ”If I get in my pickup in the morning and start driving, I get to the front gate of my ranch about sundown!” “Yep,” replied Mac, “I used to have a truck like that!”
Let’s get the politics out of the way early! Trump boasted about the corporate tax rate going from 35 to 21 percent. Yep, the rich get richer. Forbes estimates the President could save $11 million a year personally from the new tax bill! How do they know? He still has not released his personal tax returns! (Are you laughing or cursing?)
Got your flu shot yet? Yep, I just put on my white coat! Think about it! When you go for your flu shot, what do we do first? Yes, we clean your arm with alcohol. Why? Because alcohol kills germs! (That’s it!)
There is a gas station in a small town in South Africa that has become quite a landmark! It has it’s #PetrolPumpWisdom on Twitter, which are uplifting quotes written on a chalkboard. People are known to travel this route just to read the quotes which brighten their day! Here are a few great ones … Be who you needed when you were young! … It’s better to talk along than with a crowd going in the wrong direction … Don’t do something permanently stupid because you are temporarily upset! … Stop trying to make everybody happy. You’re not tequila! … I am a woman! What’s your superpower? … and the best: Why do we only rest in peace? Why don’t we live in peace too?
A man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch! A neighbor dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. He responded, “It was enough to make anybody faint: my son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower!”
A 20-something lady involved with a woman’s lib group boarded a crowded bus, and a man rose to his feet. “No, no, you must not give up your seat. I insist,” she said. The man replied, “Lady, you can insist as much as you like, but this is my street, so this is where I get off!”
And a brief message in appreciation … Bill Brown decided it was time to buy a new house for his family. He called a real estate agent to sell his present home. The agent wrote up a sales blurb for the house that made wonderful reading. After Bill read it, he asked the agent, “Does my house really have everything your ad says it does?” The agent replied, “It certainly does! Why do you ask?” Bill responded, “Cancel the sale. It’s exactly what I’m looking for!” (Is there a lesson for us all with that chuckle?)
Time to close, my friend. Hope your therapy carries you through the week with some smiles! (Yep, one more I know!) … A wife asked her husband, “What would you like for your birthday?” He responded, “Nothing would make me happier than a guitar!” “Great!” she replied, “I’ll get you nothing then!”
Be well, be happy. Aloha, a hui hou.
