‘Be prepared’ is the Boy Scout motto and even though in all of recorded history a hurricane has never hit Kona, it’s good to be prepared.
‘Be prepared’ is the Boy Scout motto and even though in all of recorded history a hurricane has never hit Kona, it’s good to be prepared.
Walmart will thank you for it, sales go up.
Drive down and buy out all the water, rice, saimin, ice, batteries and blankets and you’ll be set. You are now ready to watch the calm Kona coastline all through hurricane season.
You can sit on the couch and watch pert, little weather experts on TV pointing to gigantic swirling graphics of hurricanes ready to swallow Kona, but never do. They always veer off.
If prepare you must, prepare your guest room for friends and family in Hilo and Puna, a hurricane just might hit over there — it has before.
Now we have to start getting ready for the biggie — an atomic bomb. If a nuclear missile hits your neighborhood be sure to go inside and wait, like the state is advising. Sure, that’ll do it.
When the entire city and half the islands are pounded into dust, you’ll be inside when it happens. North Korea never figured on that.
Actually, in case of a nuclear attack, the county Civil Defense strongly suggests that you bend over and kiss your okole goodbye.
Seriously, it is best to prepare for a season that will actually happen, like football season. Forget water, blankets and batteries, just grab some beer and chips. Get some dip, too, the kind in those little plastic containers with a hundred dangerous chemicals listed on the side. They taste better.
Then ponder why L.A. has two pro football teams, and the Oakland Raiders are in Las Vegas. I wasn’t prepared for that. Oh yeah, go Marcus Mariota!
And now that we all know zero hurricanes are coming, not one in the past 175 years, do not fear, there are other impending events to plan for.
Like friends visiting from the mainland.
You can still go to Walmart and buy water, ice, blankets, batteries and the like. Believe me, some people are just as disastrous as a hurricane.
Kidding aside, prepare for what’s good, not bad.
Prepare for light, prepare for love, prepare for the phone to ring with a new job, a message that reminds you everything is all right. Prepare for the dawn tomorrow when that point of shimmering gold peeks over Hualalai and those rays of God shoot up into blue heaven.
Prepare for wonder and amazement at every leaf and flower, every wave that breaks. Better yet, don’t prepare for anything, just know that something higher is taking care of everything.
Dennis Gregory is an artist, writer and musician who mixes truth and humor in his biweekly column. He can be reached at makewavess@yahoo.com