KAILUA-KONA — A few good men can make a world of difference. And Caleb Milliken, who directs the West Hawaii Fatherhood Initiative and a mentoring group called Boys to Men Hawaii, is trying to foster a few more of them.
His most recent efforts culminated Wednesday evening at the Keauhou Shopping Center with an event dubbed “Christmas with our Keiki.” Roughly 40 children from the Kahaluu Housing community were treated to a movie, a visit with Santa and a buffet dinner at Tropics Tap House in an effort to promote positive male role models for children who may not always have one on which they can rely.
Four Boys to Men mentors, five fathers and eight journeymen — older boys in the mentoring program who have embarked on their journey toward manhood — came to help manage dozens of delighted young faces celebrating an early Christmas.
Milliken was hoping for a little more paternal involvement, but said the event was still a success because of how much it meant to the kids in attendance.
“For whatever reason, the fathers just are not engaged. They’re not showing up for the kids the way we’d like them to,” he said. “So we just said, ‘You know what? Line up the kids, we’re going to the movies.’ It’s a huge joy being here. There’s a little sadness in it because a lot of the dads aren’t here, but that’s my work. That’s my mission.”
Milliken said the communities his groups serve tend to be heavily Marshallese, and many families are struggling.
Parents have difficulty finding work while their children battle the language barrier, a lack of early education before arriving in Hawaii and frequent bullying at school as they balance their native culture with the sometimes unfair demands of assimilation.
“Some of these parents just aren’t engaged, and the ones that are, they get so overwhelmed. They can’t find work and it’s hard for them to be there for their kids,” Milliken explained. “The reason we do this work is because these kids need more good men in their lives.”
While the West Hawaii Fatherhood Initiative doesn’t yet have the legs Milliken hopes to one day put underneath it, evidence of progress via the Boys to Men Hawaii mentoring program abounded Wednesday night.
The journeymen — many of them in their mid-teens and who have spent much or all of their lives with little or no positive male influences — were confident, outgoing and took seriously the examples they’re expected to set for younger members of the program.
They couldn’t speak highly enough of what Milliken and fellow mentors Alex Iglecia and James Resor mean in their lives.
“We are boys and we want to transfer ourselves to men, and they say they’ll be there to help us, so I’m just trusting them,” said 15-year-old Gideon Jelke. “They’re here to protect us, (build us up) and make us feel better.”
More than just support, the mentors help the journeymen stay focused on school while teaching them how to deal with adversity.
“If we have a bad day, and we’re doing something bad, they’ll tell us what’s good for us,” said 14-year-old Nathan Ken. “They teach us how to be men.”
The Christmas event Wednesday started at the Regal Keauhou Stadium 7 theaters, where half of the kids checked out the Hawaiian-themed film “Moana,” while the other half took in another animated feature, “Sing.”
The group, not too full on popcorn and soda to enjoy dinner, made its way across the parking lot for photos with Santa Clause.
The night came to a close with a buffet dinner at Tropics Tap House and, of course, presents.
The Keauhou Shopping Center, Tropics Tap House, the Rotary Club of Kona and the Hawaii Community Federal Credit Union all pitched in to make the night possible.
Smiles were wide as the group snapped photos outside the restaurant before piling into commuter vans to return home around 8 p.m.
“This is exactly why we do the work that we do,” Milliken said.
Anyone who wishes to get involved with Boys to Men Hawaii or the West Hawaii Fatherhood Initiative can reach out to Milliken by phone at (808) 747-0267 or via email at crmilliken@hotmail.com.
