Da kine wurd/turm/frayze uv da dey: How fo may’k kau kau.
Da kine wurd/turm/frayze uv da dey: How fo may’k kau kau.
Eh, wot get fo eet een da keet’chen lah dat? No moah nuteen, we gahtah may’k sumteen but! (Hey, what’s to eat in the kitchen! Nothing, we need to cook something!)
Now, we get to stir the pot; literally!
Whenever the subject of local grindz comes up, I get to use one of my favorite Pordagee turms: Mooshfeekah!
How many times have you been in a local restaurant with a rookie (read: OTB haole) and heard them say: Eew! or Yuk! when confronted with a plate of hum-ha pork, adobo, tripe stew or a side order of kim-chi or takuan? “No way I’m gonna eat that yucky/stinky stuff!” My standard reply is: “mooshfeekah!” (More for me!) Ha!
Eh brah, dat buggah no goeen eet heez kau kau, yu ly’k sum? (Yo, that guy’s not going to eat his food, you want some?)
Meanwhile, back in the kitchen …
As any local worth his gold-plated chopsticks knows, island cooking is always an adventure!
Eh, hau yu may’k yur poke? Me? I may’kum da way my fahdah wen teech me but! I go get aku eensted ahi, den I poot chop un’yen an tohmaytoh eensai, den poah show’yu an sesahmee oil ontop, den lomi da buggah, smahl kine. (I use my father’s recipe with aku instead of ahi, I add chopped onions and tomatoes, then pour some soy sauce and sesame oil over it and gently mix.)
Eh boo, yu no kan poot dakine eensai! (Hey, you can’t put that in!) Yu no ly’k da da way I may’k my’nz, no eet den! Mooshfeekah! Ha! (If you don’t like the way I make mine, don’t eat it! More for me!)
Before Chef Choy saved all of us adventuresome cooks from ridicule, some of my friends used to tell me that I couldn’t/shouldn’t put bell peppers in my a’u (marlin) poke! Yep, you guessed it! Mooshfeekah brah!
So, when Sam’s Poke Contest was incorporated into the Big Island Aloha Festivals and moved from Waimea to The Hapuna Prince hotel for the first time, I decided to submit my much maligned secret recipe: “Pocho Poke,” so named because my other secret eengreedahmint was: zahbooleesh (Portuguese pickled onions). An, try fo gess wot wen hapen? Dey wen peek my resahpee az wun uv da feeftee fy’nahleests but! (And, try and guess what happened? My recipe was picked as one of the 50 finalists!)
I nevah wen ween nuhteen, but, aftah dat, nohbuddy wen tehl me wot I cood oh no cood poot eensai my poke aneemoah lah dat but! (I didn’t win any prizes, but, after that, no one told me what I could or couldn’t put in my poke anymore!)
To prove my point about anything goes, that year, Kimo Kahoano was one of the celebrity judges; and, as required, submitted his unique, on the spot recipe: “Gummi Bear Poke” Lol!
In the next column we’ll get deeper into local kitchen exploits and explain how places like L&L Drive-In evolved from The Manapua Man, Mom and Pop Okazu-yas, and the like!
To end with a German take on a local favorite, while planning a local-style picnic outing to an alpine lake, I was gonna make some Kal-bi Ribs. So, armed with a drawing of what part of the cow short ribs come from, I visited my local Metzger (Butcher) and asked if he could cut me approximately 5 pounds. His answer: “Gewiss mein Herr, aber warum?” (Certainly, but why?) Ha!
Pau fo nau.
Nexes wun: kau kau hana hou, Sept. 13
Wally Camp is a Big Island resident who writes a biweekly column for West Hawaii Today. He can be reached at Hilowally@gmail.com