You are expecting a political rant, yes? Then, I would never want to disappoint you! So important that you know the different responses from our Presidential candidates: The ever critical question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Donald Trump:
You are expecting a political rant, yes? Then, I would never want to disappoint you! So important that you know the different responses from our Presidential candidates: The ever critical question: “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Donald Trump: “We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the road! We will have a door for legal chickens!” Hillary Clinton: “What difference does it make why the chicken crossed the road?” … and last but not least: Bill Clinton: “I did not cross the road with that chicken!”
Most all of you know the medical term “stat.” It means “without delay.” It can stand for “short turn around time’ or for “sooner than already there!” Basically it means “instantly” and “immediately. Well, a very clever internist, Dr. Bryan Hambley, gave it new political meaning. STAT means “Stand Together Against Trump”. And yes, I know I am in deep trouble with some of you, so just an excuse da funny lady and read da next LOLs…
What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college? “Bison!” … What did the mama cow say to the baby cow? “It’s pasture bedtime!” … How did the farmer find his wife? He tractor down! … I’m a second hand vegetarian! Cows eat grass, I eat cows! … What do you call a cow who just recently had its baby? decalfinated! … OK, and the best one of all: Life is good when the barn is where your best memories have been made!
I was introduced to a man and wife by a friend who knew that they were moving there and that Texas was my home state. The couple asked if I had any information or suggestions for them. I could not believe what came out of my mouth next, but here goes: Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store! … Remember that “y’all” is singular, “all y’alls” is plural, and “all y’all’s” is plural possessive … If you hear a redneck say “Hey, y’all watch this!” Stay out of his way, as those are likely his last words. … If you think it is too hot, don’t worry. It will cool down in December. … If someone says they’re “fixen” to do something, that doesn’t mean anything is broken. … And my favorite: Rockey Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don’t ask!
OK my friends, about time to close but one more from my homeland: Why don’t rednecks ever call 911 in an emergency? They can’t find eleven on the phone dial … and I just called my family in Austin and Kerrville to apologize!
Be well … Be happy … Aloha, a hui hou.
