Political rants? None today, because if I got started I’d never have time or room for your therapy. So, let’s get down to business and LOL! ADVERTISING Political rants? None today, because if I got started I’d never have time
Political rants? None today, because if I got started I’d never have time or room for your therapy. So, let’s get down to business and LOL!
One day a florist went into a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the Barber replied, “I cannot accept money from you; I’m doing community service this week.” When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a thank you card and a dozen roses for him at the door. Later, a cop came in for a haircut, and when he tried to pay his bill, the barber again replied, “I’m doing community service this week!” The cop smiled a left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a thank you card and a dozen donuts waiting at the door. Then a congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, “I’m doing community service this week.” The congressman was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it! (Now, wasn’t that better than a Doc Shay rant?)
Q: What do you call a flea in a bar? A: A bar-hopper!
A guy goes fishing with his friend and asks him, “Where is that new rod and reel you had the last time we went fishing? I can’t help but notice that you’re using a long stick and string and a safety pin for a hook!” His friend replies, “My wife thinks I’m wasting money so I told her I’d take the new rod and reel back if I didn’t catch a fish. Anymore questions?” “Yes! Why didn’t you go to the market and buy a fish to take home? If you remember, that’s what I did last year so I could keep my fishing gear!” His friend answered, “I did, but I forgot to take it our of the package they put it in at the store!” (Duh! No, da man’s name not Kimo!)
One from my favorite profession: The phlebotomist entered the hospital room to draw blood. Noticing an apple on the patient’s nightstand, she remarked, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away!” “That’s true,” the patient remarked. “I haven’t seen a doctor in three days!” Yep, don’t you just love our medical system in this day and age? (Whoops, I be careful!)
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display. “Well, I have good news and bad news,” the owner responded. “The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. I told him it would, and he bought all 10 of you paintings!” “That’s wonderful!” the artist exclaimed. “Now, what’s the bad news?” “The gentleman was your doctor!” Yep, I know you saw it coming, but I just had to tell this one again!
One more from a ‘shrink doctor?’ Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I am a dog!” Doctor: “Lie down on the couch and I’ll examine you.” Patient: “I can’t! I’m not allowed on the furniture!”
OK, now time for da kids to make us laugh: “Mom, I wish I had the money to buy an elephant!” The mother asked, “Why do you want an elephant? The boy replied, “I never said I wanted an elephant. I just wish I had that much money!”
Yep, got just one more … A company offered tours through the historic district, led by guides dressed in colonial clothing. While leading a group, one of the guides tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at him in his 18th-century garb, he asked, “Just how long have you been waiting?” Enough LOL? Want one more? Look in he mirror!
Aloha … a hui hou.
