Whining about the Olympics spoilers

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In a perfect world, you would not know that Olympics swimming legend Michael Phelps got clobbered by teammate Ryan Lochte in the 400-meter individual medley Saturday until you watched the shocking race on prime-time television.

In a perfect world, you would not know that Olympics swimming legend Michael Phelps got clobbered by teammate Ryan Lochte in the 400-meter individual medley Saturday until you watched the shocking race on prime-time television.

Or that defending Olympics gymnastics champ Jordyn Wieber missed making the final cut Sunday for the all-around gymnastics competition and dissolved into tears of disbelief.

Or that she gained redemption Tuesday when the U.S. women’s team won gold.

Or that Northwestern alum Matt Grevers backstroked to an Olympic record and a gold medal Monday.

But chances are you did know all of this before NBC aired those dramatic competitions in prime time.

You knew even if you weren’t cruising the NBC Olympic Games website or seeking Olympics news. You knew because this is the 24/7 Olympics of Twitter, Facebook and smartphones buzzing, blazing with the latest results and … ruining the surprise for millions of American viewers.

That’s because NBC tape-delays and broadcasts the day’s highlights in prime time, many hours after the events have concluded.

No surprise there. NBC reportedly paid $1.18 billion for the rights to the Olympics. It needs to sell prime time ads. It’s fair to assume that fewer people would watch if the network showed the marquee events live during the day and then offered reruns during the crucial evening time slot. Smaller audiences yield stingier ad revenues.

NBC execs probably thought they’d defused the usual tape-delay grousing by providing live Internet streaming of so many events — archery! rowing! equestrian! other stuff we never watch! — that even the most besotted Olympics fan couldn’t claim to be cheated.

Not quite. The network is taking intense heat on Twitter and in the blogosphere for doing what broadcasters have done since ABC TV legend Roone Arledge pioneered tape-delay in the 1960s Olympics.

Typical acid-drenched tweet at #nbcfail: “Ryan Lochte could cure cancer during a race & NBC would air it 6 hours later with the cure portion removed for a Seacrest interview.”

And this from markjaquith: “Breaking: USA wins gold medal in synchronized NBC bashing. Tune in to NBC tomorrow for coverage of the event.”

Ouch.

Peeved NBC exec Vivian Schiller retweeted that “the medal for most Olympic whining goes to everyone complaining about what happens every 4 yrs, tape delay.”

She’s right.

Face it: You can tape those swimming and volleyball results and try to shut out all news. Or you can live in the real world, in real time … and take your chances.

A person who is piped into social media and email, who has daily contact with friends, relatives and co-workers, cannot expect them to remain silent about things that have already happened in London, just because he or she wants to pretend they haven’t.

London is six hours ahead of Chicago. Deal with it.

Sure, many news outlets provide spoiler alerts for viewers and readers and listeners. But to mangle a famous quote, the news that America’s freestyle relay team was overtaken at the finish line by the French made it halfway around the world before the spoiler alert even got its boots on.

The Olympics is a worldwide communal event that people can share in real time (if they don’t need sleep.) Complaining about Olympics coverage, including nattering commentators and tape-delayed highlights, is also a worldwide communal event.

Sure, some of the drama is drained away if you already knew about the epic failure of the U.S. men’s gymnastics team or Missy Franklin’s stirring backstroke victory just minutes after she finished a 200-meter freestyle semifinal.

But TV ratings are strong for the Olympics so far. So you knew the results but … you watched anyway, didn’t you? So did we.

All those trying to create a cocoon of Olympic silence around their lives, remember, it’s not NBC’s fault if your mother-in-law spills the latest swim results just like she blurts the plot twists on “The Good Wife” before you have a chance to fire up the DVR.

There’s only one way to avoid all this: A Chicago-hosted Olympic Games. No tape delay, no waiting. All the events, unfolding here in real time. Let the rest of the world catch up later.