Dear Annie: My father and mother were both sick and only weeks away from dying when my niece went to my father’s bedside and asked if she could have his house when he “didn’t need it anymore.” She made sure
Dear Annie: My father and mother were both sick and only weeks away from dying when my niece went to my father’s bedside and asked if she could have his house when he “didn’t need it anymore.” She made sure her mother was with her to witness the question and answer.
My father suffered from dementia for several years, and it was no surprise he agreed “Rhoda” could have the house. But his will was made out many years before, and it left everything to be equally divided between his eight children.
After my parents died, Rhoda put pressure on her mother to get the house. When I questioned Rhoda’s actions, her mother defended her. When my brother said we were going to sell the house, Rhoda told us we could sell it only to her and at a greatly reduced price.
My father intended to leave everything to his children, not his grandchildren. This has split our family apart, and I don’t know if we ever will get over the hard feelings Rhoda has caused. She feels no remorse and still believes she should get the family home because Dad “promised” it to her. I say she gets nothing. More importantly, she never should have gone to my father on his deathbed to begin with. What do you say? — Split Families
Dear Split: Rhoda sounds like a vulture. If your father had a legal will, the attorney (not the family members) should inform Rhoda she is not entitled to the house or the proceeds from its sale. Of course, if the majority of your siblings choose to sell her the house anyway, there’s not much you can do. Your letter should serve as a reminder to our readers to put their wishes in writing while they are of sound mind and not leave the door open to mercenary relatives who try to take advantage.
Dear Annie: What should you do if your husband of 46 years tells you that you are terribly obese? Yes, I am 30 pounds over my ideal weight, but that hardly justifies his comment. He has made other insulting remarks to me in the past. But this one hurt my feelings so much that I cannot deal with it. Is this abuse? — Crying in Ohio
Dear Crying: If your husband constantly belittles and humiliates you, it is emotional abuse. If he makes an insulting remark once every few years, he is simply a jackass. But after 46 years, why did this particular comment strike you so hard? Are you sensitive about your weight? Do you fear he no longer finds you attractive? Or was it just the straw that broke the camel’s back? Tell your husband how much his remark hurt you. You also can get some counseling, with or without him, to learn how to best deal with such an insensitive partner.
Dear Annie: I laughed when I read the letter from “Bad Back” about the terrible mattress in her parents’ guest bedroom.
A while back, my elderly “Aunt Millie” had out-of-town guests, and they, too, mentioned how uncomfortable the mattress was. Millie was convinced it wasn’t the mattress because she said it wasn’t that old and, after all, it had a board under it. I asked when she got it, and she told me, “We bought it for Daddy.” She didn’t mean her husband, who died 20 years before. She meant her father, for whom she bought the mattress in 1950 when he moved in with her. When we took off the mattress pad, we found the original tag saying the entire set cost $29.99.
We then checked the rest of the mattresses in the house and ended up replacing three. People tend to forget how long they have had their beds, even if it’s been a half-century. — Still Chuckling
Dear Chuckling: Some of those mattresses can get mighty old before we notice.
Happy Canada Day to all of our readers north of the border.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM
