Dear Annie: I have enjoyed a wonderful friendship with “Sharon” for the past eight years. However, lately she talks nonstop and interrupts me so often during conversations that the only way to enjoy our interaction is through email or by
Dear Annie: I have enjoyed a wonderful friendship with “Sharon” for the past eight years. However, lately she talks nonstop and interrupts me so often during conversations that the only way to enjoy our interaction is through email or by exchanging voicemails.
Sharon has always been a high-detail storyteller, going off on frequent tangents and being very involved in the narration. But in the past few months, her inability to stop talking is problematic. I can’t get her attention unless I actually yell, “Hey, Sharon! Stop!” And on the rare occasion when she asks about my personal life, she will interrupt me with another question before I’ve started answering the first one. In fact, she sometimes answers the questions for me. She’ll ask how my day was and then proceed to tell me. It’s bizarre. Just recounting these conversations makes my chest tighten with frustration.
I have tried talking over her, but she can outdo me in that arena. I have also become very still the minute she interrupts me, and frankly, she seems completely oblivious. I would say something to Sharon about this, but she is very sensitive, and I’d end up hurting her feelings deeply. Also, I have other friends I can lean on if I have a serious issue, so I don’t really need Sharon for this purpose. But her behavior is so annoying I see no solution other than limiting our friendship, which is unfortunate because she is otherwise a bright, funny, enjoyable person to be with.
Sharon recently asked me out for coffee, and I am avoiding sending a response. Any words of wisdom? — Speechless in Omaha
Dear Omaha: You seem to have a good grasp of the problem: You don’t think telling Sharon about your unhappiness will garner positive results, but you still wish to maintain the friendship. Remaining silent while she prattles on won’t frustrate you so much if you recognize upfront that this is going to be the dynamic. Master the art of the benign smile. You are not there to converse. You are there to listen to Sharon’s amusing stories, which you apparently enjoy.
Dear Annie: I am a 24-year-old college graduate and have found a job I love. I am not yet confident enough in my finances to rent an apartment, so I’m living with my parents while saving money and building credit.
The problem is, my father is stressing me out. He constantly yells at me, eavesdrops on personal conversations with my mother and expresses his dissatisfaction with my life. He thinks I should be making more money, but I love my job and am certain my hours will improve when the economy rebounds. I don’t want to ruin my savings by moving out and paying all that rent, but Dad’s constant criticism is depressing. What should I do? — New Adult
Dear Adult: It’s time to move out. Your independence and peace of mind are worth a little rent, maybe with multiple roommates. You also can talk calmly with your father and explain how his constant negativity affects you. We think one reason he eavesdrops on your conversations with Mom is because he feels left out. His criticism is the only way he knows how to stay involved in your life.
Dear Annie: I have a response to “Hurt by Gossip,” whose in-laws can’t keep a secret and repeat everything she tells them to everybody.
The next time “Hurt” is tempted to share something with the in-laws, she should ask herself, “Is this something I would be comfortable posting on Facebook?” If the answer is no, she shouldn’t tell the in-laws, either. — Mrs. Beans
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit creators.com.
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