Dear Annie: I am a freshman in high school, and my older brother, “Adam,” is a junior. Although I wouldn’t consider myself popular, I have a great group of friends. Dear Annie: I am a freshman in high school, and
Dear Annie: I am a freshman in high school, and my older brother, “Adam,” is a junior. Although I wouldn’t consider myself popular, I have a great group of friends.
Recently, I noticed that Adam is flirting on Facebook with a girl in my grade. For the most part, it’s innocent and playful, but it makes me beyond uncomfortable. This girl brags a lot about drinking and being sexually active.
Adam is a smart kid with a bright future ahead of him. I don’t want him involved with this girl, even if it seems innocent right now. To be honest, I think he’s using her because of her loose reputation, and I’ve lost respect for him.
How do I confront him about it without getting into an argument? I want him to know how uncomfortable it makes me feel. I’d like to tell my parents, but I don’t want to be a tattletale. Should I just mind my own business? — Unhappy in Omaha
Dear Omaha: Some insecure girls intentionally cultivate a loose reputation in order to attract guys, and it is not unusual for high school boys to find that enticing. Talk to Adam. Tell him his interest in this girl makes you question his integrity, and you hope he won’t use her to satisfy his sexual needs. Let him know it’s not only her reputation that is at stake. And point out there is also a good possibility any high school junior or senior boy who has sex with this girl could be charged with a crime because she is underage. It hardly seems worth risking his future. That said, let’s hope his interest in her is purely for the sake of friendship.
Dear Annie: Last week, I received a fancy wedding invitation. The next day, the bride emailed, saying she hoped I could attend and is looking forward to seeing me at the wedding. Then she added she hopes I don’t mind watching all the little kids at the ceremony and reception.
The bride is in great shape financially. Is it to be expected in this economy that one could be invited to a wedding only to provide a service? How should I respond? — Kentucky
Dear Kentucky: Even if you babysit for a living, the bride was terribly rude to invite you with the assumption you should take on this responsibility. You have four choices: You can say yes to her proposition. You can say yes, but quote your fee for babysitting or tell her it will be your wedding gift to the couple. You can turn down the invitation. You can accept the invitation, but tell the bride you are not available to babysit — in which case, please couch it in language that says you wouldn’t want to miss a moment of the event because you were distracted by the children.
Dear Annie: I totally agree with Judy Hou, who is trying to get readers involved with the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids.
We were taught in pharmacy law class that certain medications are classified by their potential for abuse and risk of physical or psychological dependence. Schedule 1 drugs have a high potential for abuse, have no currently accepted medicinal use and lack safety information. Drugs in this category include heroin and LSD. Schedules 2-5 also have potential for abuse and dependence, but have accepted medicinal uses. These include Oxycontin, Percocet and Valium.
I believe nicotine should be included as a Schedule 1 substance and be declared illegal. Unfortunately, politics will prevent this from happening, and we will have to continue to encourage our youth to make intelligent decisions regarding cigarettes, drug and alcohol use. I am very thankful Florida has many smoke-free places to eat and work. — A Florida Pharmacist
Dear Pharmacist: Making a substance illegal will not prevent people from abusing it. While we understand your position, we are certain to hear from a great many readers who disagree with your solution.
Dear Annie: You often print letters from older folks who complain about young people, but here’s the flip side.
I have noticed at family gatherings that the older relatives tell horrifying stories about terrible things that happened, give a lot of detail about what physical ailments they or their friends are experiencing, or make comments that are racist or sexist, all of which my young daughters cannot help but hear.
I frequently find myself balancing the need to be polite and respectful, while wishing they would use a G-rated filter on their conversation. We have worked hard to raise our children with little gratuitous exposure to violence and discriminatory remarks. To have our efforts derailed by their own sweet grandmother telling a story of the awful family next door or their grandfather making sweeping derogatory comments about a particular ethnic group is very frustrating.
Please encourage your older readers to temper their stories and comments when young ones are around. — Sandwiched in Vermont
DearVermont: Thanks for the suggestion. Don’t be reluctant to tell Grandma and Grandpa you’d appreciate it if they would be more circumspect around the little ones. They probably have no idea you object — or why.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit creators.com.
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