Lucky Day Lucky Day ADVERTISING DMV trauma recounted Sometimes it is just your lucky day. Today was that day for me, I am almost 72 and have been a psychotherapist for 43 years. I didn’t get rich until today. The
Lucky Day
DMV trauma recounted
Sometimes it is just your lucky day. Today was that day for me, I am almost 72 and have been a psychotherapist for 43 years. I didn’t get rich until today. The wealth I am about to receive could not have been predicted by anyone.
I was simply going about my business of getting ready for a trip to see my grandkids. My wife reminded me that I needed to renew my driver’s license. So I gathered my birth certificate, passport and Medicare card and headed to the luxurious new headquarters of the infamous Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my license. My mood was light and naively optimistic. What a joy to live in Hawaii, I thought. I even whistled and skipped and thought, “my grandkids would love my carefree and playful spirit.”
Then suddenly, it was my turn. I slid my application, passport, birth certificate and Medicare card with my Social Security number through the window to, a delightful DMV woman. She somehow communicated with her body language that she knew what was about to happen. I had a hunch myself. But, being a therapist I knew I would handle whatever came at me and skip and whistle when I left. After all, therapists are bulletproof when it comes to negative emotions or thoughts. I was in charge of my own inner world.
Passport sorry expired. Birth certificate — has to be an original, besides if it had been an original it was kind of not acceptable because it had been folded and creased. Medicare card is not acceptable. Original Social Security card needed and even if you had one, I was told, it couldn’t be kind of tattered and worn-looking. Hmmmm, a 55-year-old Social Security card had to look new. No driver’s license today.
But then, in an epiphany moment, it came to me. I was going to be rich like I had never been before. I was about to be sitting on a gold mine. I was a psychotherapist. When others, one by one, went through what I was now going through, my phone would be ringing off the hook.
Think about it from my angle. I would lead countless anger management groups for people of all ages. Support groups for seniors, individual therapy for emotional breakdowns and severe depression would reap untold riches. I would be in all these groups working on my own post traumatic stress disorder. That’s it, I thought, a new psychological diagnosis that I had invented called DMV Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Move over Google, there’s a new billionaire on the block.
However, the fallout for HMSA would be terrible, as health care costs skyrocketed when people flocked to my special therapy. They would be bankrupt in months. The Big Isle economy would tank as people lost their jobs because of mental health issues. However, the influx of therapists from the mainland would cause a boom-erang effect, with housing prices skyrocketing. In the end, this insanity was an unintended blessing. There, I did it. I made lemonade out of lemons.
I forgot to tell you that to get your original birth certificate from vitalrecords.com it costs $25.50. I don’t really know how much it costs to get the Social Security card or passport, because when you go online to get your birth certificate you can’t figure out the instructions. I tried. I have little doubt it will be the same for getting a brand new Social Security card and passport.
The whole process of course, is illegal, because waterboarding the elderly in any form is torture. Funny, I would sign up for it just to get my driver’s license. I’ve had my driver’s license for 56 years. I never thought it would bring me such great wealth.
My kidding aside. The wonderful woman at DMV had great empathy for me. I returned the empathy, as all great therapists do, in times of frustration. I said, “People must get upset with this process and that must be hard for you.” So, I was proud of myself for knowing enough to not take it out on her.
Remember, DMV employees need love too. Besides, they also may end up in my office.
Patrick McCary
Kona
Evaluating Candidates
Cause of the problem
This year’s elections for both the U.S. House of Representatives and Senate will play a significant role in the course of our country’s history. It is important that voters take a close look at the capabilities and prior accomplishments of the candidates.
We need people who can and will play a leadership role in making critically needed changes in Washington D.C. that affect our future.
Congress has an 11 percent approval rating according to polls taken recently. These folks have an obligation to come up with solutions for the issues of the day.
Unfortunately, they are literally a cause of our problems. The list is long, including a stagnant economy; continuing long-term unemployment; trust in the integrity of big corporations and questionable banking practices; an ever-increasing number of children who go to bed hungry; a truly unfair taxation system which favors the wealthiest people at the expense of the middle class and people, because of circumstances they did not create, having difficulty fending for themselves.
The election season is beginning. It will be a relatively short time until the August primaries. The big money ads, many of them funded by organizations that represent special interests and extreme ideological thinking, soon will be hitting your TV screen in abundance. Expect them to be ugly and misleading at times.
These folks, primarily from the mainland, have big bucks to spend under the current campaign spending rules. Their primary objective is to see that our elected representatives support their self-interests.
Take every opportunity to evaluate candidates based on what you personally see and hear either in person or in a debate format.
The effectiveness of our Congress and the need for solving the country’s problems are at stake.
Joel Cohen
Waimea
