Dear Annie: I am 57 and single. I truly regret leaving my husband of only three years, but he never wanted to spend time with me, did not communicate, drank beer all the time and spent every day in the
Dear Annie: I am 57 and single. I truly regret leaving my husband of only three years, but he never wanted to spend time with me, did not communicate, drank beer all the time and spent every day in the garage working on ship models.
My life was easy with him. I didn’t have to do anything but show him affection. I loved him and still do, but I thought I would be happier finding someone I could talk to and do things with. I was married for 34 years to my first husband, and he ended up falling in love with my sister.
How do I get over my second husband and all the regret of leaving him? I told him I made a terrible mistake, but all he said was I should have thought of that earlier. I asked whether I could have two days a month with him. He replied that we could be friends, but nothing more.
I have begun dating again and met a guy I liked initially, but everyone tells me I’d be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. He is controlling and tells me I “need” to do this and “need” to think that. He says he loves me, but I can’t handle all the arguing over stupid things when we disagree. He thinks the world is out to get him. He doesn’t even shower unless I tell him to.
I have sought counseling, and was told not to move in with my new boyfriend. But it hurts to let him go. I am so overwhelmed and don’t know what to do. Please help — Washington
Dear Washington: Take a deep breath, and stop chasing after the men in your life. Your new boyfriend is not the right guy, and the sooner you break it off the better. Yes, it will hurt, but not as much as it would if you stayed with him. Your ex-husband has made it clear he is no longer interested, and frankly, you didn’t seem happy with him, either. Please use this time to figure out what you want from a relationship. You are trying too hard to have a man in your life and are making poor choices. Go back to your counselor if you think it might help you clarify things.
Dear Annie: My wife and I will be celebrating our 10th anniversary this summer. She is an incredible mother, grandmother and wife. The problem? Absolutely nothing. We love each other more than anything and get along great. In 10 years, we’ve never even raised our voices. We both cook, clean, do yard work and share in raising our granddaughters. We never take advantage of each other or do anything we wouldn’t want the other to do.
Basically, we treat each other the way we want to be treated. It’s been the happiest 10 years of our lives. Thought you might like getting a positive letter for a change. — Never Been Happier
Dear Happy: You’ve made our day! It’s good to hear from someone whose marriage is filled with love, respect and mutual consideration. Thank you.
Dear Annie: I can identify with the letter from “Florida,” who said the fireworks that used to accompany sex have become duds.
Two years ago, I convinced my husband to go for counseling with me, and he’s a good guy, so he went. I asked for sex twice a week, plus cuddling and affection at other times. We tried for a while, but it became more effort than it was worth. He seemed to feel ashamed that he needed a little blue pill, so the fire burned out.
I’m an attractive and interesting woman. I have many hobbies and work out at a gym with a trainer. Men notice me wherever I go. But my husband is still the love of my life, so I exercise to burn up my sexual needs. — Southern Belle
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit creators.com.
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