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Dear Annie: For the past year, my wife, “Janie,” has been getting hot flashes. She is always broiling in the house while the rest of the family freezes. She insists on keeping the temperature at 70, while the rest of us are most comfortable at 74. She recently purchased warm slippers for everyone and suggested we wear long sleeves.
Annie, I like to wear T-shirts and walk barefoot. I work long hours, and when I come home, I like to shed most of my clothes. I pay the mortgage and should not be freezing in my own home. Our family doctor said the hot flashes could last for years. I say she is disrespectful to all of us. She says I am insensitive. We are at an impasse.
I found out she is looking for an apartment. I love my wife and beg you to help us before it’s too late. — Upstate New York Where It’s 20 Degrees Outside
Dear New York: You think you’re uncomfortable? Imagine how your wife feels with an internal thermostat that periodically sets her on fire. The U.S. Department of Energy recommends your home thermostat be set at 68 degrees in winter (78 degrees in summer). You can warm up more easily than your wife can cool down.
We recommend a compromise. You offer to be comfortable in sweats if she will speak to her doctor about medication to control her hot flashes or visit a health food store for more natural remedies. A pair of slippers and some hot cocoa seems a small price to pay to save your marriage.
Dear Annie: My mother has three brothers. My grandmother’s eyes are blue, and my grandfather’s are blue-gray. My mother and two of her brothers have brown eyes.
From my college biology class and some Internet research, I understand this is genetically impossible. This leads me to believe my mother and uncles may not be my grandfather’s children. I also know my grandmother had many miscarriages and a stillborn. My grandparents also have marital issues and have come close to divorcing on a few occasions.
Should I speak to my mother about this? I’d like to know my biological family. — Brown-Eyed Girl
Dear Brown-Eyed: Eye color is very complicated. While not common, it is indeed possible for blue-eyed parents to produce brown-eyed children. And if your grandparents carry a mutation, it would make sense that more than one child would have brown eyes. So please don’t jump to any conclusions. If you are concerned your genetic background is inaccurate, speak to your mother.
Dear Annie: You printed a letter from “Put Out in Peoria,” whose sister boycotted the nephew’s wedding because her children were not invited.
I’ve photographed weddings for 15 years and can relate numerous accidents that have happened while parents were ignoring their children at receptions. I have seen cake tables topple because kids were playing underneath. They slide across the dance floor while their ignorant parents think it’s cute to see them knock people over.
Once, a toddler ran up behind my husband, who stepped back and fell over the boy. The kid wasn’t hurt, but my husband tore a ligament in his arm. I’ve seen children run into stone walls and glass doors and need to be transported to emergency rooms. Take it from me: If you want an enjoyable evening, leave your children at home. Everyone will be safer. — Photographer in Houston
Dear Houston: Not all children are so wild, and not all parents are so negligent. And often, the bride and groom want their little nieces and nephews in attendance. To avoid disasters, we recommend bridal couples who wish to include young children hire babysitters to entertain and watch the kiddies.
Dear Annie: My father’s secretary of many years smokes a pack of cigarettes every day in her office. The ceilings are low, and the ventilation is poor. The secondhand smoke is detrimental to my father’s health, which is already compromised by other medical conditions.
My siblings and I have asked her many times to try to get help for her addiction, and to smoke outside or on the office balcony. Do we have to let her do as she pleases, even though it hurts to see Dad breathing in her fumes? — Montreal Fan
Dear Montreal: We have to wonder whether this secretary harbors some hostility toward Dad. Nonetheless, your father is the one who needs to speak up, and apparently, he is unwilling. So put in some fans, smokeless ashtrays and other helpful devices that will minimize the damage.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM